That's right. That's a baby. That's a David baby that is currently growing in my unsuspecting belly. Here are some questions you might be wondering:
Was this planned?
Pah! Is what I say to this. If you knew my husband... you would know that this was not planned! (Although, in the months before we found out we were, in fact, with child, he did admit to wanting a baby...) However unplanned, we are very very VERY excited! Tyler just giggled throughout the entire sonogram. :) Seeing that little nugget move around today, hearing the sweetest little heart beat and realizing that God has given us life to nurture, love and teach was humbling and absolutely awe inspiring. And frankly, a bit surreal, if not for all the nausea and the eating, I might not believe that sonogram or the 5 pregnancy tests that I took.
How far along are you?
I am 12 weeks. That means in two weeks I am finito with my first trimester. (Not all trimesters are created equal. This one is 13 weeks and not twelve like the sweet little suffix suggests.) I'm very ready to be done with this trimester. It hasn't been awful, but I want energy and an appetite back. Baby David will be entering the world on April 17, 2011. (ish.)
Are you finding out what you're having?
ABSOLUTELY! I made our 16 wk. appointment today and I am already counting down the days until we get to figure out if baby will be bambina or bambino. I'll reveal the names we've been tossing around then. Some people really like to keep all these things to themselves, but 1) we're just not that private in many respects and 2) I can't keep a secret to save my life, especially when I'm excited about it! (Unless you have revealed something in confidence to me at some point in my life, in which I have kept it under lock and key. Except for maybe when I was in middle school. Please forgive me.)
How are you feeling?
Physically: Mostly tired. Mostly like I'm going to vomit in the p.m. hours. Sometimes I'm STARVING, then my sweet husband makes me a sandwich and I just cannot even eat it. Sometimes I can't decide if I'm full or still hungry. Strange things. But, looking at the big picture, I've been really blessed. Many women feel much worse than I have felt. I've only stayed home sick once from work to recover from a particularly sickly night. But other than that, I've been able to get my job done, if not above and beyond, at least I know my kids are learning.
Emotionally: Oh gosh, this changes by the hour. I will say... as of late (especially today, I suppose) I've been much more excited about the prospect of having a sweet little love bug to gush all kinds of affection towards. Today, sitting in the waiting room, I realized for the first time that there will soon be a little one in my life that says "mama!" excitedly when he/she sees me. But it's not uncommon for me to feel nervous, stressed, anxious, terrified at any given point in time. Here's where the next part comes in:
Spiritually: How sweet the Father's love for us. As this life changing discovery was made, I kept finding myself saying, "God, this was mean. Why would you do this." (Yes, I know. Not a typical reaction to the news of a tiny bundle of joy. I'm just being honest.) And over and over again as I searched the Scripture looking for comfort, and thought on the Gospel of Jesus I was reminded that His reply is always, "Because I love you so much more than you can comprehend. I am perfect and all I do is perfect. This life in you is my design for your good. I want you to trust me." (OK, not what it says in the Bible verbatim. I paraphrased.) Granted, I forget this hourly, but it is so sweet for me to turn in my anxious thoughts and think on how much LOVE I see in the death and resurrection of God's Son. If God has given me LIFE and everything that He has, how could I ever distrust His timing in giving us a baby? This breathes life into my weary soul.
All that to say, those three categories are smushed into one in my crazy life. Each feeds into the other, sometimes positively, bringing me constantly to the throne of Grace, sometimes negatively sending me into a spiral of self dependance, anxiety, self doubt, etc.
Ok, this post is long enough. Later, I will post a few tidbits I've learned about pregnancy thus far. It's been a crazy ride.
Thanks for reading! :)
Lauren and Baby D