Daughter, Wife, Mother... this is what I do

Friday, May 18, 2012

4. Kisses and Crying

Today (well, yesterday... I'm a bit behind...) my little lady learned to kiss. At some point I'll cringe at the thought of her knowing how to kiss. But today, it melts my heart. I tried to get a picture or video, but the girl is quick. And she never ever performs on command. Figures...

So I'll do my best to describe it to you. If I catch her at a particularly cuddly moment (which isn't tough, my kid is one of the best cuddlers ever...) and say, "Can mama have a kiss?" She'll lean her little closed mouth towards mine and say "Mmmmmaa" Sometimes she'll make the smacking noise afterwards.

Melts my heart to even recount it. I'll do my best to get some sort of visual evidence of the kissing queen and put it in this post so that my story doesn't just fall flat. :)

Speaking of sentimentality and kids... I had a conversation with a group of moms about crying the other day. Not our kids' crying. Mama crying. The happy kind of cry. The kind that happens when your kiddo takes her first steps or moves to a big girl bed or all of a sudden turns into a teenager.  I am totally a crying mom. I well up when people tell me how sweet my little girl is. (This happened to me a few weeks ago. I'm sure I did not hide it well.)  I cry at commercials featuring chubby, precious babies and new mamas. (not recently, so I guess I have hormones partly to blame here...) I cry when I see someone else crying over the astonishing rate with which their child is growing up.

It embarrasses me slightly. But mostly, I love it. Emotion is a beautiful and God given thing. But it can be tricky. God has taught me (through His Word and my experience) over and over again that my heart is deceitful. So, while I will cherish the emotion I experience because of my kids, I won't let it run me.

For example, it can be tricky to gush out love and emotion for my husband that equals my emotion and affection for Elle. It is my calling as his wife to be more loyal to and more in love with him than I am with my kids. I believe that it is the absolute best thing I can do for them. To show them an accurate, though flawed, picture of what the relationship of Jesus and His Bride, the Church should look like.

I must fight to love my husband above my kids like I must fight to love Jesus above all else.

No comments:

Post a Comment